the boba fett syndrome
by PayMaster
Summary: its funny...but wrong/bilbo baggins guest stars
1. Default Chapter

disclaimer: please note that Star Wars and all of its places, characters, etc. is owned by George Lucas not by me...I just write funny stories. The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings is not owned by me either, like I said I just like to write humorous stories.  
  
One day on a cold night in space Obi wan, Yoda, and Luke Skywalker were cruising through space towards earth. They were heading to see a midget halfling named Bilbo Baggins. They arrived at his house and Luke knocked on the door.  
  
Bilbo Baggins, who was sitting and smoking his pipe, got up and answered the door. "Thank goodness you are here", Yoda exclaimed. "What on earth do ya need?" Bilbo asked. "Chewbacca has been kidnapped by Boba Fett, and we need your help!" "Well, well, well, ya need the help of ol' Bilbo Baggins eh? I'll do it, but I have a price." "Name it", Yoda replies. Luke, Obi wan, and Yoda sit there in the little house for a moment patiently awaiting Bilbo's answer. "You'll have to give me ten tacos and a jar of mayonnaise", Bilbo finally replies. A confused look creeps upon the three warriors' faces. "Why do you want tacos?" a confused Luke Skywalker finally asks. "I have heard so much about them, and they sound mighty tasty. Could you please get them for me if I help rescue your friend?" Yoda replies, "We'll get you your tacos and mayonnaise, but would you please help us rescue Chewbacca from Boba Fett?" "Yes, just explain the situation to me, and we'll go get him."  
  
Obi wan and Luke are sitting in the corner while Yoda explains everything to Bilbo. "Deep inside a creepy mansion on the moon our dear friend Chewbacca is held captive by the bounty hunter Boba Fett. They have him incased inside a giant red sock full of cole slaw. Once a week he lets loose the monkeys, and they throw poo poo at him. The entire spooky mansion is surrounded by a legion of man eating burritos. Your help is required because of your magical powers. We have no time to waste let us go help Chewbacca." The four men walk outside of the tiny house and head for the space ship. They all board the Mystery Falcon and blast off into space. It is a short journey to the moon with a smooth landing.   
  
Upon arrival they all just stare at Boba Fett's creepy mansion. "So here we are. Finally we will rescue Chewbacca," Yoda exlaims. The man eating burritos are stationed all around the mansion. Clad in lederhosen and armed with muzzle loaders they turn toward the four heroes. Armed with the knowledge that they have been spotted the two knights draw their sabers. The man eating burritos pull up their lederhosen, cock their muzzle loaders, and aim at them.  
  
(to be continued) 


	2. the big man arrives...

disclaimer: Star Wars, all its characters, etc. is owned by George Lucas not me, Lord of the Rings is not owned by me either, etc., etc. I just write funny stories so HA!  
  
In the distance a loud thumping noise could be heard. The four heroes were confused when the man eating burritos lowered their muzzle loaders. Sensing they no longer meant harm the knights put away their sabers. Pulling up to the mansion was none other than Boba Fett himself.  
  
The thumping was a sound system of Boba Fett's hoopty ride. His brand new car stereo seemed to shake the entire house when he pulled up. The car was full of beautiful women. When the doors and windows opened everyone could smell the indo. "What's shakin' my friends?" Boba Fett exclaimed as he got out. He was wearing a white fur coat, carrying a cane with a rabbit head, and he had a white hat with a feather in it on his head. Boba Fett was totally pimpin. "We're here to rescue Chewbacca." Obi wan finally said. One of Boba Fett's women reached inside his pants pocket and pulled out a huge wad of cash with a glittery rubber band around it. "That's for you if ya get up out this bitch right now," Boba Fett said as he tossed it on the ground at their feet. "You'll not buy us off that easily Boba Fett!" Yoda replied. "Okay then it's cool, but uh you'll have to solve all the puzzles in my mansion in order to rescue your precious Chewbacca," Boba Fett finally said. "Hey you burrito, get over hear and park Bounty Hunter 1 for me okay?" "Yes master!" the man eating burrito said. "Ladies let's go to the hot tub, and good luck you crazy knights, and Bilbo, don't get yourself eaten by goblins are anythin." Boba Fett said as he walked away with all of those gorgeous, giggling women just hanging and clinging to him.  
  
"Well what do we do now?" Bilbo asked. The four huddled to form a plan. "We have to go inside and rescue Chewy. If that means figuring out his puzzles then we'll do it." Everyone agreed as they broke the huddle. The man eating burritos stood down as the doors of the spooky mansion slowly creeped open. The four heroes knew what they had to do.   
  
Just inside the door was Boba Fett's very first puzzle. It was a lavishly brilliant lobby with two statues of naked women in front of the door. It appeared that the statues had to be arranged in a certain way in order to trigger the release mechanism on the locked door just up ahead. The four men just stood there looking at the statues trying to figure out what to do.   
  
Both statues had their heads tilted sideways with their mouths open. "Boba Fett is a major player and pimp, so maybe we should arrange the statues so they kiss each other." Bilbo finally said. They pushed the statues into the position, and no sooner than they did the doors swung wide open. They had just finished the first puzzle. Wasting no time celebrating they continued into the next room.  
  
(to be continued)  
don't miss my next chapter: the hot tub scene, hope y'all are enjoying my story, bye now 


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